Local’ Versus ‘Modern’

When being local becomes as good as an insult, the last thing you would expect to hear is a person so proudly local. That is how strong the winds of social convention can be, especially when blowing across an uncritical terrain. But can one be proudly 'local'? I know many of us would go so, but untying the social chains may be demanding for more courage than we are willing to gather. In some cases it is simply to be blamed on ignorance about facts and implications.

 

For instance, I have come across a couple of people who shun their local/ surnames. You call someone Kemigisa, Nakalema, Akello and they will be quick to caution you against using such 'funeral names'. Only a 'local' person would want to address or be addressed by such names. 

It is trendy/modern to be called Sasha, Fifi, Ethan, Salvado, Nash, and so forth! They sound nice and allow for smooth tongue-rolling with a stereo effect, it is argued. Thus, in a number of 'modern' families today, at the birth of a child such names would be the first to be thought about, sometimes in consultation of online name catalogues and TV soaps.

That is not all. The black colour has also fallen victim. The farther one's skin is from darkness, the more pretty/handsome they seem to be considered! A 'local' lady/ girl carries natural hair, no cosmetics and may not have battled off the black pigment of her skin. She boringly speaks plain vernacular with no English or French input! You painfully listen to her say okulongoosa (to clean) instead of okucleaninga. She is mourner-like. At the restaurant she orders for akatogo instead of chaps, chips, sausages. She knows no pizza! As in, she is damn local! To worsen it, she carries cheap bags from downtown. Hasn't she heard about Sanchez, Agnona, Ferretti, Gucci, D&G... ? Someone advise her to 'style up'.

Here comes another one. How do you prove you are not local? Easy! Don't associate with stuff made in Uganda or perhaps Africa as a whole. How on earth do they hear that your TV is made by Sembule? As if Sony TVs were out of stock! Don't bore people with African wear. Come on, there are modern garments from UK, Italy, Spain, and USA. Besides, which designer tag is on your kitenge? Who made it and who is he/she in the designer ranks? Don't tell me about promoting local products, functionality and convenience. That is local talk.

Wear a suit, most probably made in Italy or any of those developed countries we most accurately seek to imitate (from economics, to language, colour and taste). You are a corporate man, so smart an officer. African wear is casual and informal, not suitable for 'modern' settings like offices. Reserve it for bar evenings and other informal functions. And I warn you, never take it to parliament. That is a place for serious business that can't be associated with Africanness. Who cares whether the Ugandan climate is not suitable for suits. Remember the Englishman (underline the authority) says 'smartness knows no weather'. And whose business is it that you are mistreating your body by subjecting it to such heat? Don't they appreciate the value of smartness? Tie your neck as well to maximally generate heat inside. Do those critics know about air conditioners? Don't tell me that unnecessarily raises the electricity bill. Don't be conservative, as in, local. You get?

Which music do you listen to? Last time I heard you sing along a Kadongo kamu song. Be open to me, do you like that local crap? Those people who sing in wrong languages and about local issues! Get serious. Why on earth when the likes of Lady Gaga, Beyonce, Alicia Keys, Lil Wayne, Jay'Z, 50 Cent and Kanye West are still releasing Grammy material! That is the music nigga. The guys can flow! You 'step it like it's hot'. 

Forget about love of our own and relevance to local issues. Don't allow the embarrassment of being found listening to Fred Ssebatta, Mata Nasani, or Kabondera. I even hear that music affects the eardrum! Honestly it is so local.

When you get thirsty, buy bottled water. It is stylish to drink 'mineral water'. You don't have to boil your own water even where you can, that is of no style! Buy 500mls at 700/=, don't be bothered that 20 litres of tap water that you can boil cost only 150/=. Carry a bottle comrade, it puts you in a class above the local. Who cares whether bottled water also comes from the tap and not from the mountain springs beautifully depicted on the bottles! Who is shouting about the environment? Have you heard the soils complaining about plastic bottles? Sip your water and throw away the bottle, it is its business if it doesn't want to decompose. If other generations find the soils filled with plastics, it will be upon them to sort the mess of our generation. 

Some conservative fellow has been complaining about your new dress code! That you are wearing very tight pants! Ignore him, he grew up with his grandmother. Tie your buttocks more tightly to bring out those shapes prominently. Don't be mean with what God gave you free of charge, show them dear. Exhibit! Show them that you have mastered the art of self-advertisement. When you bend and it signals like tearing, it is not their business. After all there are many other people wearing like that today. Don't two wrongs make a right? What are they hiding in their long skirts and big pants? Why are they so selfish?

Let us land back from the sarcasm. It is not in itself bad to embrace modernity. Neither am I writing as a radical traditionalist. The point is that there are many good things we are losing as we bundle and dismiss them as 'local'. Unfortunately some of the 'modern' things we embrace as we shun the 'local' are sometimes toxic, unhealthy, unreasonably more expensive, self-abusive and undignified! True, it is our duty and freedom to choose what we want to be. But let our choices be critically made. We certainly ought to contemplate what we call 'local' and meditate on the implications of our labelling. Don't allow to be hoodwinked by persuasive consumerist adverts.

By Jimmy Spire Ssentongo
Institute of Ethics and Development Studies
Uganda Martyrs University - Nkozi